FORTY-THIRD INSTALLMENT

Kenneth decided to not wait in their room for John, but instead leave a message for him at the reception desk with the duty officer. He was going to search the campus grounds. First he went to the basketball courts: no luck. The gym: no Dave. By now it had started to rain quite heavily, and he noticed he had forgotten his cap in the dorm room. Still he ran, stumbled and fumbled out of breath all across the campus grounds in a frantic search for Dave.

Then, almost an hour after his search started, Kenneth made it to the track field where he witnessed a scene that broke his heart. There, on the tracks, was Dave, running lap after lap in his uniform, soaked to the bone by the heavy rain, running as if there were no tomorrow.

As he walked onto the tracks, Kenneth stumbled over what turned out to be Dave's shoes and socks. The kid is running barefoot! Kenneth looked up again, just in time to see Dave passing by at an incredible speed, his hair hanging around his face in long, rain soaked curls, his face dripping wet, covered with a grimace of pain, probably both mental and physical by now.

The next time Dave approached him, Kenneth stepped out and grabbed him, but Dave seemed unstoppable. Kenneth hung on to him until they both tripped and fell to the ground, Kenneth's arms holding the soaked kid in a tight embrace.

Dave had been running at such a fast pace, for such a long time, his breath was wheezing out of control. To Kenneth he seemed to be in a state of shock.

While they were still lying on the ground, Kenneth began talking to Dave, in a soft, smooth, reassuring voice.

"Hey, Dave? Buddy, we've got to get you inside. You're going to get sick this way, running around in the rain in your bare feet, huh?"

Dave seemed almost lethargic, he didn't make any effort to move, nor to free himself from Kenneth's grip, nor to even look his roommate in the eyes. He lay there in Kenneth's arms, panting heavily while staring into space.

Kenneth squinted up to the sky which by now had darkened considerably, the rain pounding heavily on the both of them.

"Come on, Starsk. We have to get inside now, I think we are going to have a thunderstorm soon. Come on, buddy, get up, huh?" Kenneth scrambled to his knees and held Dave upright.

Suddenly Dave seemed to return to the real world. He gazed straight into the older cadet's eyes; the look in his expressive light blues tugged heavily at Kenneth's heart.

"Jerry's gone." Dave stated it simply, almost as a question, as if he needed confirmation that the tragedy had really happened.

"Yes, buddy. Jerry's gone," Kenneth answered softly, the sound of his voice almost drowned by the battering rain.

"I'm so sorry, Starsk. I'm so very sorry." He looked into the innocent face opposite his.

"Buddy, we have to get inside now, or we'll both end up with an pneumonia, okay? Are you ready?"

Dave looked into Kenneth's eyes for a long moment, then nodded and let himself be guided toward his shoes and socks by Kenneth, who kept his left arm around Dave's shoulder in an embrace at all times. Dave seemed oblivious to the cold and the rain, and also seemed unaware of his shoes and socks on the ground, so Kenneth bend over and picked them up, before putting his arm around Dave again, leading him into the locker rooms.

Just at that moment John came running in.

"Oh, there you are. Good! You've found Dave." He panted as he looked at the two soaked cadets.

"He's soaked to the bone, been running barefoot! Do you happen to have your locker key on you? We should get some towels and socks for him." Kenneth said as he was wringing the water out of Dave's socks and turning his shoes upside down to let the water run out.

"Nope, sorry. I'll go see if anyone's in here. Be right back." John left them together again.

Dave sat on one of the benches in the locker room, unconcerned with the fact that he really was dripping wet and that his curls were leaking water onto his face.

Kenneth was genuinely worried about his young roommate.

"After we dry you off a bit, we're going to our room and warm you up. I sure hope you won't get a flu from this."

No answer. Dave just looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. John returned with an arm full of towels, behind him was Captain Robinson who -- right from the beginning -- had developed a soft spot for the spunky Starsky kid. He too, had been informed about the Hendricks tragedy in the staff meeting over lunch. Robinson was fully aware of the deep friendship both young cadets had shared, as well as the manner in which Dave had lost his father at an early age, and was also deeply concerned about how this news would affect the academy's youngest cadet.

John gave Kenneth and Dave each some towels. Kenneth immediately started drying himself off, whereas Dave just accepted the towel and held it in his lap.

John was standing close to Robinson and spoke softly

"I think he's in shock, sir. I'm a psych grad and I don't like the state he's in, to be perfectly honest with you."

Robinson didn't take his eyes off Dave as he answered John,

"What do you suggest?"

"Well, obviously we need to get him dry and off to his room to begin with, then maybe the campus physician and psychologist should take a look at him?"

"All right." Robinson acknowledged. The huge man walked up to Dave and knelt down in front of him.

"Dave?" Robinson asked, in a totally different voice then the cadets were used to hearing from him.

"We're gonna dry you off and get you up to your room. We don't want you to get sick, do we, son?" Robinson held out his hand while looking into Dave's face.

Dave gave him the towel and Robinson, the athletic giant, began drying off Dave's soaked curls, dabbed the young cadet's face gently and then softly said,

"Now take off your shirt, Dave, and wrap this towel around you," Robinson looked at both other cadets,

"You men take him up to his room. I'll notify the medical desk. Go ahead." And finally softly to Dave,

"You're gonna be all right, kid, everything's gonna be fine."

Robinson got up, looked one more time at all three cadets and left the locker room.

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FORTY-FOURTH INSTALLMENT

Kenneth and John led Dave back up to room D on the second floor. Slowly, Dave seemed to regain his composure and began moving on his own initiative again.

He shook off their arms and deposited the wet towel over the back of his chair. He threw his wet shirt on the floor. Then he looked up at Kenneth and John.

With a sad smile he said,

"I'm sorry I lost it there for a while, guys. Thanks for --- well --- ya know."

Kenneth and John looked at each other. Then John stepped forward.

"Dave, if you want or need to talk, there's always the academy's psychologist. He can help you deal with this."

Dave looked at John, a tad aggrieved. Then a thin smile came across his lips.

"Nah, I don't need no shrink, John, I'll be fine. Thanks for worryin' though."

He reached out and briefly touched John's arm.

"Are you sure?" John insisted, looking Dave straight in the eye.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"Okay, then," John turned and walked toward the door, where Kenneth was still standing.

"I really have to report to my mentor now. Will I see you guys for dinner?"

Kenneth looked at Dave for his reaction. Dave nodded.

"Yes, sure, we'll meet you at the cafeteria." Kenneth softly answered John.

The older cadets exchanged glances and then John left for his homeroom.

Kenneth walked into the room, closing the door behind him. Dave still stood, bare-chested and barefoot, by the window.

Kenneth decided to take the initiative.

"Well, no point keeping our uniforms on. Why don't we change into some dry civvies, huh?"

He looked questioningly at Dave, who made no attempt to move.

Kenneth walked up to Dave's closet, retrieved a sweatshirt, a pair of jeans and clean white socks and put them on the table in front of Dave.

"Here, Starsk. Put those on, huh? You don't want to catch a cold. Come on now, buddy," he softly said, touching Dave's arm.

Dave looked at him and Kenneth's heart sank. His young friend looked so lost, so intensely sad and confused, it made Kenneth do something that up until now he would never have done, certainly not with someone of his own gender.

Before he knew it, and without hesitation, Kenneth reached out his arms and pulled Dave into a tight bear hug. Instinct made him do it and it felt surprisingly good. He stroked the wet curls with his right hand, and held Dave in an embrace with his left arm.

Dave allowed his roommate to comfort him. He was surprised to find this cool, collected and at times even distant blond would make this a "touchy-feely" moment, but he needed it, so he let Kenneth embrace him. It felt good and it hit just the right spot. Slowly it was beginning to dawn on Dave that Jeremy, his best friend at the academy, was gone, forever.

Dave felt empty, numb, lost and confused. He needed to be comforted and he needed to be guided. In this moment, he seemed to have lost all direction. Still, there was one thing he wanted -- no -- needed to do. His face resting on Hutch's shoulder, his body still in his roommate's warm embrace, his wet hair still being stroked softly and his ears hearing the smooth, velvety tones that expressed comfort and calm, he took a deep breath and said,

"I wanna go up to the funeral home. Sign the register. Will you go with me, Hutch?"

Kenneth immediately answered,

"Sure, I'll go with you. Let's get you dry and changed first and then we'll go. We can have dinner downtown too."

Dave nodded, then straightened himself, looking straight into Kenneth's face.

Kenneth had stopped stroking Dave's hair and was now holding him by the arms, looking into that young face. He was relieved to see that Dave's features had relaxed a bit. It seemed that a sense of acceptance was already beginning to seep into Dave's system.

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FORTY-FIFTH INSTALLMENT

In Kenneth's car they drove downtown in silence. Every now and then, Kenneth glanced sideways at Dave, who sat staring straight ahead.

Dave's mind was scrambling to get a grip on the mind-numbing events. Not Jeremy…. He was only 22….. I was gonna go visit his family next time we were off…. We were gonna study together for Thursday's test, he was only 22, ….. what about the bet we have goin' on, Jer? You said I could up my marks at the shooting range to 100% even if I've been stuck at 95% for 3 weeks now, tomorrow you were gonna know if you'd won or not. Jer? Jeremy? Why did ya have to get yourself killed, Bozo! You were only 22! Who am I gonna study with now? We were still gonna have so much fun, Jer! You were only 22! Why did ya hafta go?!

At 5.30 PM, Kenneth parked his car across the street from the funeral home. He was dressed a bit more appropriately than Dave for a visit to such a place in his dark brown corduroy pants, brown dress shoes, black turtleneck and plaid brown jacket. Dave only owned jeans, sweatshirts and t-shirts and sneakers, so Kenneth had picked the most conservative looking items he could find in Dave's closet. This meant Dave was wearing a new pair of jeans, still dark in color and without tears, a dark blue t-shirt and a black jacket. Unfortunately Dave owned no other shoes but sneakers, so the customary blue and white Adidas completed his ensemble.

At the funeral home, Kenneth did the talking as he asked the attendant for directions to Jeremy's register.

In the room, with its diffused lighting, there was a desk with a big picture of Jeremy in uniform on it, its frame adorned with a black ribbon. Kenneth looked at Dave just in time to catch him swallowing back tears. But Dave composed himself and went up to the register. He read the few messages that had already been entered. Captains Williams and Branson apparently had been here earlier and probably had provided Jeremy's photo as well.

Then Dave took the pen, looked for a long moment at his friend's photo and entered a message in the book. When he was done, he turned and held out the pen to Kenneth.

Kenneth stepped forward, took the pen and bent over the register. He signed a simple, eloquent message of sympathy, then read what Dave had written.

"I don't understand why you had to go, maybe I never will. But there's some good people there already, where you are now, so I know you're in good hands. I'm missing you already, buddy and you'll always be with me in some way. See you, you big dope. Dave."

Tears welled up in Kenneth's eyes as he read the simple message straight from Dave's heart and he breathed deeply a few times before he felt secure enough to turn around and face his roommate.

Just as he turned, some people entered the room. A big woman and an even bigger man. It didn't take more than a second for Kenneth to realize they were Jeremy's parents. Their son had inherited their round, friendly features and strawberry blond hair. As soon as the woman laid eyes on Dave, she exclaimed,

"Dave? Dave, is that you?" and approached the dark haired cadet, arms extended.

Dave turned to face the woman, whom he'd never seen except in photos that Jeremy had shown him.

Jeremy's mother only knew Dave from the few photos the friends had taken of themselves as well. With a warm smile and a strange mixture of delight and sadness, she walked up to Dave and embraced him tightly. Dave's eyes were round with shock at first, searching for and finding Kenneth's eyes, before they relaxed and squeezed shut as he returned the hug from Jeremy's mother.

Kenneth could see Mrs. Hendricks was easily as tall as he was, and her equally friendly and robust husband was perhaps a little taller even than his son had been. Mr. Hendricks approached Kenneth with an outstretched hand.

"Hendricks. Are you from the academy too?"

"Yes, sir, I am. My name is Kenneth Hutchinson. I'm Dave's….."

"Dave's roommate, yes I know. Jeremy told us. He was so disappointed he couldn't share a room with Dave. No offense," Jeremy's father sighed, then continued,

"I don't know how he did it, Dave that is, but he really got Jeremy out of his shell. Big as he was, Jer was always extremely shy, you know. Never had any real friends, not in grade school, not in high school. He was always teased for having red hair and being the size that he was. But the minute he met Dave, that all changed. He was crazy about that kid, he really opened up after he met him……" Mr. Hendricks looked at the touching scene of his wife nearly crushing Dave in her embrace, then he chuckled,

"Marie, you don't want to injure the boy!" and walked up to the pair.

Mrs. Hendricks embraced Dave tightly, and didn't let go for the longest time. Together they just rocked back and forth in their mutual embrace. Dave was getting slightly smothered by Jeremy's mother, who was a bit bigger than he. After her husband called out to her, she released Dave and looked straight into his eyes,

"Oh, my, I didn't even see what beautiful eyes you have! You are such a beautiful boy! Beautiful inside and out!" she marveled, as a few tears slowly ran down her face.

"Marie, don't embarrass the boy!" Mr. Hendricks said, giving Dave a friendly smile as he extended his hand to him.

"So glad to finally meet you, Dave. We are so happy that you were Jeremy's friend."

Dave, a bit overcome by the enthusiasm of Jeremy's parents, just nodded his head and looked over at Kenneth to summon some support. Kenneth walked up to the little group and smiled amiably at Jeremy's parents.

"We came straight from the airport. We just can't believe he's gone. I'm sure you feel the same way, too." Mr. Hendricks' eyes went over each and every face in the small circle before he continued,

"We haven't even cried yet. It's ------- it's too unreal. A parent shouldn't ---- shouldn't outlive his children ----- that's not the way nature intended it to be." He sighed deeply.

"I don't think I will realize we've lost Jerry, until we bury him," Jeremy's mother added, wiping her nose with her handkerchief. Then she looked Dave in the eyes and said,

"Dave, once we get permission to take Jeremy home to bury him, will you please come too, and perhaps say something at the funeral? You can stay at our home." She looked at Kenneth,

"You're welcome too, of course."

Dave looked shocked at first, then his face took on an expression that was a mixture of pride and awe.

"Of course I will be there, ma'am. I'd be glad to tell everyone what a great pal he was to me." Dave smiled at Jeremy's parents, who both embraced him. Kenneth watched the scene and admired the kid who had been so devastated just a few hours before, and who now was already consoling his best friend's parents.

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FORTY-SIXTH INSTALLMENT

The four of them remained together for another 15 minutes and then Kenneth and Dave went to a diner for dinner. They were silent throughout most of their dinner together. Kenneth sensed Dave needed to process everything that had happened today. He kept a close eye on Dave, as the younger cadet ate his way through a -- for his standards -- modest dinner. If you can't talk right now, buddy, I'll wait until you are ready. I hope you know I'll be there for you to lend you an ear, or to lend you a shoulder. Rest assured, I'll be there, Kenneth thought.

Dave couldn't think. He was functioning on automatic pilot. His ears were ringing and he felt numb, as if he were in the middle of a dream. And he desperately wanted to wake up.

When they'd finished dinner, they slowly walked back to the car. It was 9.00 PM. Kenneth looked at Dave, who was staring at the car without seeing it.

"Ready to head home?" Kenneth asked in a soft voice.

Startled, Dave looked across the car at Kenneth.

"Hmmm?"

"Are you okay?" Kenneth asked.

Dave took a long moment before answering.

"Yeah," he softly said as he grabbed the door handle, "let's go home."

Kenneth got into his car and opened the passenger door so Dave could get in as well. As soon as Dave had settled in the passenger seat, Kenneth took hold of Dave's shoulder and squeezed it.

"It's okay," Kenneth softly said, as he looked at his young roommate.

Dave couldn't help but let out one sob. Then he regained his composure and turned to face the passenger window.

Kenneth understood Dave needed more silence. He let go of Dave's shoulder and started the car. They drove back to the Academy without speaking.

Back in their room, they changed for bed in silence. When Dave got his wallet out of his back pocket to put on his nightstand, a note in Jeremy's handwriting fell out.

He stopped in his tracks and stared at the memento on the floor. When Kenneth turned around, he noticed what had happened. He picked the piece of paper up off the floor and read it. It was one of the handmade coupons Dave had received for his birthday. In Jeremy's neat handwriting the note entitled Dave to a free shoeshine. Kenneth sighed and put the note on Dave's nightstand. He retrieved Dave's pajamas and handed them to his friend.

"You have to get some sleep, buddy," he softly said.

"Come on, go get changed."

Wordlessly, Dave took his pajamas from his roommate's hands and put them on. He looked so forlorn, that Kenneth hugged him briefly.

"I know you don't believe it now, can't believe it now. But things will get better, eventually. Let me help you, Starsk. Come on, you need to get some sleep now."

Kenneth held Dave at arm's length.

"Okay?"

Dave looked into Kenneth's eyes. He couldn't say anything right now but inside he was thinking how wrong he'd been about this blond. Thinking he was stuck up, distant, icy even. Thank God I got another friend in you, Hutch, now that Jeremy is gone. I wouldn't know what to do right now, but I trust you to get me through this, buddy.

He swallowed hard and nodded. Then, under Kenneth's watchful eye, he slowly climbed into bed. Dave turned his face to the wall and Kenneth switched off Dave's overhead light before getting into his own bed.

Dave wept, soundlessly, before falling asleep at midnight, drained. Kenneth's mind was racing over the days events until he, too, finally fell asleep at 3.00 AM.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FORTY-SEVENTH INSTALLMENT

On Thursday Jeremy's body was released and on Saturday Kenneth, John, Dave and about two dozen other cadets and staff members of the police academy flew to Iowa for the funeral.

It was an impressive sight, to see all the uniformed men sitting in the church where the services for Jeremy were held. A minister performed the service, after which one of Jeremy's uncles read a poem. Commanding Officer Captain Williams spoke for the academy. Then Jeremy's father held a touching speech at the end of which he introduced Dave.

"Finally, I would like to invite a fine young man up here. Our Jeremy met him at the academy. They became best friends and this young man truly made a world of difference in my son's life and we thank him for that. David Starsky, will you please come forward?"

Nervously Dave stepped up to Jeremy's father, who embraced him, before he started his short eulogy. Dave looked at Kenneth, who nodded to him for reassurance. Then he spoke,
"My name is Dave Starsky. Jeremy and me met at the academy, almost four months ago. We immediately liked each other and became friends. Good friends. It was easy to become friends with Jer, because he was a genuinely nice guy. A real 'good guy' who couldn't see any wrong in anyone. He'd always see the silver lining behind every dark cloud, always saw something nice in even the most unkind person. It's kinda strange that we became friends, because we were as different from each other as two people can be. But he taught me a lot in the short time that we knew each other. He taught me to be a better, nicer me. I'm not done learnin' yet, and I wish he were still here, so he could continue to teach me. But even though he's taken from us, he really isn't gone. Because we liked him so much, that he's found himself a permanent place right here," Dave pointed at his chest, "in our hearts, where he will always stay, as a part of us. We'll miss ya, Jerry, but we ain't never gonna forget ya." Dave swallowed before ending his speech.

"Thank you." He stepped down and returned to his seat.

Kenneth squeezed Dave's arm, as he sat back down next to him, and he could see tears welling up in the kid's eyes.

"That was one terrific speech, Starsk. I'm proud of you. Jerry would be, too," he whispered to Dave.

Dave just nodded, but didn't trust himself to look at Kenneth without losing control over his emotions.

After the burial, the mourners gathered for coffee and cake. Everyone was introduced to Jeremy's relatives and expressed their condolences. After a few hours, the whole group from the academy, except Dave and Kenneth, assembled for goodbyes. The roommates would return the next morning.

They stayed with Jeremy's parents and heard all their stories about Jeremy. Mr. and Mrs. Hendricks also told Dave how much of an impact he had on Jeremy, even during the short time they'd known each other.

The two cadets listened patiently, moved and touched by the Hendricks' candor and openness. They needed to talk and work through the slowly developing awareness of their grief, by talking long and elaborately about the loss of their only son.

At night Kenneth and Dave didn't have much to say to each other as they went to sleep. The day had been so eventful and emotionally draining that they both were asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FORTY-EIGHTH INSTALLMENT

The next morning, after their goodbyes to the Hendricks', they flew back to California. The rest of their Sunday was spent quietly; all the cadets still reflecting on the loss of their fellow cadet.

As the evening came to an end, Dave and Kenneth each had a shower and got ready for bed. The light of the moon dimly lit their room again, as they lay in their respective beds, both awake, both silent.

Then Dave broke the silence.

"I never told ya how exactly my dad died. I know you asked me before, but, ya know. It didn't seem the right time to tell. I think it's a better time now. Are ya still interested?"

Kenneth wasn't sure how to respond, but he knew --- certainly after the few mentions about the tragedy by John --- that it was an extremely traumatic event and he felt oddly privileged that Dave was now ready to share his story with him so he said,

"I'm interested, if it isn't too hard for you to tell."

Dave answered,

"Nah, it ain't," and he began to tell the story that he had already shared with John.

How he had found his father sitting on the steps to their home, how he thought his dad was taking a nap and how he had nudged him to wake up. How his dead father had then fallen on top of him, revealing the bullethole in the center of his forehead and how Dave, as an 11-year old, lay there on the pavement, with his blood-soaked, dead father on top of him.

Kenneth could not believe his ears as he heard Dave's account of the tragedy, in an almost matter of fact tone of voice. He was completely overwhelmed with emotions and it took a few minutes before he had composed himself enough to talk.

"God, Starsk. I'm so, so sorry for you. I, I don't know what to say……"

"Ya know? I could believe my dad getting shot, getting killed that way. But Jeremy? I always thought he'd live to be 102 and die in his sleep from old age. My dad lived with the risk of dying before his time every day. I mean, he was a cop. It's a miracle he lived to be 37 without ever getting injured. But I guess when they did finally get him, they really got him and it was all over."

Silence in the dimly lit room.

Then Dave spoke again. Kenneth could feel Dave needed to process this latest tragedy in his life by talking it out, and Kenneth would listen, no matter how long it would take, in order to set Dave's mind to peace.

"Do you ever think about that, Hutch? About getting injured, or worse, dying in the line of duty? Does that ever cross your mind?"

Kenneth was a bit startled at the directness of the question. He searched his mind for an answer.

"Are ya still awake?" came Dave's impatient voice.

"Yeah, yeah. I was just, I was just thinking about your question."

"And?"

"Well ---- to tell you the truth, I never even considered that. Not until you just brought it up. I think that's the law student in me. I only thought about the justice part, the paperwork, the social side of the job. I did not really take the street crime into consideration."

"Street crimes are like 75% of the job, dummy!" Dave said.

"Before you're a lieutenant or an inspector, ya first gotta get out on the streets and earn your stripes!"

"Yes, I guess you're right." Kenneth admitted.

"Of course I'm right," Dave sputtered. Then, after a moment of silence, he sighed and said,

"I thought about it, ya know, about getting injured in the line of duty. But then I thought of somethin'. Wanna know what?"

"What?"

"Well, if it weren't for people like my dad, or Jeremy or you or John or me --- ya know, if it weren't for people like that, well, then crime would run rampant everywhere. The bad guys would just do their thing, because they'd know there wasn't anyone around to stop them. It's like ---- a calling. Yeah, that's what it is. I think cops become cops because they want to, ya know. It's inside you, this feelin' that ya wanna make the good side win. And sure, that might take some sacrifice like an injury, or worse. But because ya knew ya really had to become a cop, because it was in your blood, because ya had 'the calling', ya know, that's why you do it anyway. Ya go in with your eyes open, knowin' the risks. What do you think?"

"I think there's a lot of truth to that theory. It certainly would be best if people were aware of the risks of the job before deciding to become a cop."

"Like you?" Dave asked.

"Yes."

"What made you wanna become a cop?"

"Oh, just the general feeling of helplessness at the world's injustice. Wanting to make the world a better place." Kenneth snorted.

"Why is that so funny?" came Dave's innocent question.

"No, not funny. Ironic. I mean, when you think about it. Generation after generation has had its army of crime-fighters, crusaders for justice. Yet, crime is like a pest that no detergent is able to fully wipe out. It just rears its ugly head each and every time again." Kenneth laid back on his pillow.

"Geez, when I listen to you, you might as well throw in the towel now! Ya can always look on the bright side of things. As long as crime don't get wiped out 100%, we're certain we're gonna have a job, once we're done here!" Dave exclaimed.

Kenneth burst out laughing in the dark. He was relieved the kid seemed to have found his spark again.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I just love your outlook on things. You always see the bright side of everything, don't you?" Kenneth sniggered.

A long silence fell upon the room.

"Dave?" Kenneth asked, all sobered up now. He turned his head towards his roommate's bed and peered into the darkness. It took a few seconds before his eyes adjusted to the shine of the moonlight on the kid's bed.

"Hey, Starsk?" he asked, softly.

"Are you awake? Are you all right?"

Then came Dave's voice, softly,

"What ya just said about me. It just made me think of Jeremy, ya know?"

"Aaawwwww, Starsk, I'm sorry."

"Ya don't hafta be. He was a real good guy, Hutch. A real good guy. Not a bad fiber in him." Dave sighed.

"I guess the good ones really go young, huh?"

"Yep," Kenneth agreed solemnly.

More silence.

"Hey, Hutch?"

"Yeah?"

"I still gotta thank ya for, well, what ya did for me Monday. Ya know?"

"What did I -----" Then it dawned on Kenneth that the kid meant the way he had comforted and consoled Dave, after the news of Jeremy's death broke.

"It's nothing."

"No, it was big, man. You really --- you really were there for me. I appreciate that, a lot, ya know."

"I just did what I thought was right and needed at the time, no big thing."

"Well, it was to me. So thanks, okay?"

"Okay. You're welcome. I just want you to know, that whenever you need someone to talk to, whenever you're down or something, please don't hesitate to come to me, okay? I'm always ready to listen or help if I can. And I'm sure John is, too, all right?"

"'Kay," Dave answered softly.

"You sound sleepy. Let's catch some sleep, huh? Goodnight, Starsk."

"Yeah, I'm wasted. Night, Hutch."

They each found a comfortable position and soon were asleep after a very hectic week.

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FORTY-NINTH INSTALLMENT

The rest of the month was spent in an almost eerie atmosphere. Jeremy's roommate called in sick. The quiet of the room became too much for him because his roomie had not just been sent away. Nor had he quit the training. His roomie had died. So by the end of the month, Jeremy's roommate quit the training.

Dave spent most of his time with Kenneth and John now, which gave his stay at the Academy a whole new direction. He suddenly did a lot of growing up, hanging around with the older cadets, although he never lost his childlike wonder and naivete.

The classes dragged on. The many hours of lectures, book reading, memorizing and implementing were beginning to take their toll.

Dave still had a lot of unprocessed grief for Jeremy.

The many roadblocks Vanessa was putting up in their divorce proceedings were wearing Kenneth down.

It was Friday afternoon, 4.30 PM. Kenneth was on the phone in the duty officer's office.

"I understand that, Mr. Saunders, truly I do. The point I'm trying to make, however, is that at this rate, my divorce is going to last longer than my whole damned marriage did!" he exclaimed, flustered.

He listened to the conversation on the other end of the line, tapping his foot impatiently.

"I KNOW THAT!!!!" he cried out, red with anger, "I'm, I'm sorry, Mr. Saunders, I didn't mean to yell. It's just that, it's like she's pulling all these obstacles out of her hat! Where do all these claims and little side-steps come from? They hold no ground but somehow we just can't seem to work around them. What is that?"

Again he listened, getting more frustrated by the minute.

"I just want to get my divorce! I want out and I'm sure that she does as well."

Dave and John stopped by the duty officer's desk and could hear Kenneth's frustrated tones coming from behind the door. They exchanged knowing glances. Kenneth had been "off" all week due to the fact his divorce was making no progress.

"Okay, all right. I'll be there. Absolutely. Thank you, Mr. Saunders. Until then."

Kenneth exited the office and walked straight into his waiting friends.

"Whoa, Husky. What's the rushky?" John said.

Kenneth gave a thin smile.

"I don't know about the two of you, but I have to get out of here. Why don't we skip the game tonight and go downtown after dinner?"

John responded,

"Again?"

Since Jeremy's death the group had not played basketball.

Then he smiled slyly at Kenneth.

"Okay, what did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, a bar, a dancing, I don't care. I just want to forget." Kenneth's irritation was showing as he looked at Dave.

"You're old enough to go legally now."

Dave smiled, but his eyes weren't in it. Kenneth was fully aware that his roommate was still struggling to come to grips with Jeremy's death. He thought that the three of them going on a wild night out on the town might blow away some of their sorrows.

"Okay?" Kenneth asked.

The two other cadets agreed.

They went up to their rooms and changed, signed out and left in John's car. They first went to a diner and ate. The camaraderie wasn’t all there, however. There was a strange tension in the air, the humor wasn’t the same as it used to be; strange silences fell upon them during their sparse conversations. The three cadets were simply not themselves.

After dinner they walked around town a bit until they found a bar that also had a floorshow and a section where people could dance. John, Kenneth and Dave entered and found a booth. John went up to the bar to order them some drinks. Kenneth and Dave remained in the booth, silent.

The three had their beers in silence, their eyes going over the establishment, looking, searching – even if they themselves were not quite sure for what.

Then Dave excused himself to go to the bathroom, leaving John and Kenneth in the booth.

John stared after Dave as he walked through the bar towards the men’s room and said to Kenneth,

"The puppy’s still hurting."

Kenneth gulped down some beer and answered morosely,

"Yep."

"How’s he been, I mean, when it’s just the two of you in your room?" John pressed

Kenneth, searching his pockets – God I could kill for a cigarette now! – frantically answered,

"Oh, you know Dave, he talks a lot, but says little. He’s like a bomb. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d blow up, any minute."

"Unlike someone else we all know, huh?" John smiled slyly at Kenneth, while taking a swig of his beer.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" came Kenneth’s edgy reply.

"Take it easy, Hutch. Hey, it’s clear this whole divorce business is beginning to really get to you. That’s why I think we should pick up basketball again. To blow off some steam, man. Hell, I look at you and the kid and I’m having this bet with myself, you know. ‘Gee, I wonder which of the two is gonna blow his top first.' I can only guess what things must be like in that room of yours!" John continued, while taking in Kenneth’s irritated form.

Kenneth looked at John for a long moment. Then he answered in a voice more his own now,

"It’s that obvious? Of me, I mean? I mean, everybody can see Dave’s having a hard time, but that’s understandable considering what he’s been through. But me? I thought I had things pretty much under control?"

"It’s right on your epidermis, buddy." John smiled.

Kenneth smiled back shyly, bowed his head and sighed,

"Oh man, whatever you do, don’t get married on an impulse. It’ll haunt you forever."

From the far end of the establishment, close to the back exit, they heard a clamor and loud voices so both John and Kenneth looked up.

Kenneth suddenly got an eerie feeling.

"Isn’t Dave taking a long time to go to the little boys' room?"

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FIFTIETH INSTALLMENT

John and Kenneth exchanged glances and stood up from the booth at the same time, heading for the back exit.

They made their way through quite a number of people and exited the bar, only to walk straight into a fight.

It was Dave, who sat on top of a large, young man, perhaps 5 to 10 years older than he, and who was still pounding his fist into the other, lost in his rage.

Kenneth and John stepped up closer to the fight, wondering what on earth could have set Dave off, and as they got close enough they could hear Dave spitting out at his victim,

"If I ever, ever hear you spread those filthy rumors again, you son of a bitch, I’m gonna get on your case so goddamned bad, you’re gonna wish you’d never been born. YOU HEAR THAT, YOU GODDAMNED SUCKER!! If ya think I hurt ya now, you ain’t even gonna believe what I got in store for you if I ever get word you been talkin’ again, YOU GOT THAT??!!!"

The bloodied form lying underneath Dave shook his head and held up its hands to ward off any more punishment from Dave’s fists.

Kenneth and John ran toward Dave. Kenneth pulled the Starsky kid off the man, who got up surprisingly fast, while John held back the man.

"You goddamned Starskys are all the same. You’re filth! Trash!!" the man yelled at Dave, as soon as he was on his feet again.

Kenneth had the hardest time trying to contain Dave and keep him from jumping the man yet again.

"YOU KEEP YOUR GODDAMNED TRAP SHUT, ASSHOLE, OR I’LL KILL YA!!!" Dave yelled back, totally beside himself with rage.

Kenneth tried to calm Dave down, and spoke to him in a low voice as he struggled to keep a hold on him,

"Dave, Dave, don’t let him get to you. Come on, calm down now. Easy, buddy, calm down. Just keep it calm, don’t listen to him. Calm down, buddy."

"All you Starskys are filth. Not just that kinky kid brother of yours, but your dead dad and your mother, too." The man continued.

"Hey, SHUT UP!!!" John yelled at the man, pulling him back by the arm, but the man continued,

"Yeah, your saintly mother. The beautiful Rachel Starsky. Quite a looker in her day, huh, Dave?"

"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" Dave yelled, almost breaking free of Kenneth’s grip.

"Didn’t ya ever wonder why Joe Durniak picked up the funeral bill? Or why your dad worked overtime so much?" The man let out an evil laugh. John began struggling with the man, trying to shut him up.

"EVERYBODY knows, Davey! Everybody back East knows. The great Michael Starsky let his gorgeous Rachel sleep with Joe Durniak and in exchange good old Joe threw some of his business your dad’s way, so he could get a nice, impressive arrest record! He wasn’t a good cop! He lived off the gifts from Joe Durniak." Again a maniacal laugh followed.

Dave and Kenneth were now fighting each other, as Dave tried to free himself from Kenneth’s frantic grip.

"Don’t listen to him, he’s lying, YOU know that! Starsk. Starsk! He’s lying, he’s just trying to get you mad." Kenneth panted, exhaustedly, hanging on to the struggling Dave. He threw a glance at John that conveyed to the latter to get rid of Dave’s torturer.

John put his whole bodily force into trying to silence the big man. He finally succeeded, but not before the man managed to get out one last jab at Dave.

"Ever wonder why little Nick doesn’t look a thing like you? Think about it, Dave! He carries the Starsky name, but he’s really Joe Durniak’s mongrel!"

John managed to give the large man a right hook that shut him up.

"Now you get the hell out of here before the three of us take care of you together!!" John hissed at the blood-covered man.

The man took in his options, looked one more time at the still struggling Kenneth and Dave, and left, laughing.

John walked up to his fighting buddies, while dispersing the crowd of onlookers, urging them that the worst was over and that everything would be all right now. Slowly the crowd broke up and left the trio in the back alley.

As John approached Kenneth and Dave, who were still entangled in a sort of wrestling match, he could hear their breathless exchange.

"You shoulda let me get that bastard. You shoulda let me go, asshole!" Dave panted.

"You know I couldn’t let you go on fighting with him," Kenneth answered, equally breathless,

"If we’d come in a bit later, you could have really done some serious damage to him, Starsk! You don’t want to mess up your chances to finish the Academy, do you?"

Dave was fervently trying to get out of the wrestling grip Kenneth was holding him in,

"Let me go, Hutch, I’m warnin’ ya! Let go, man. I’m gonna get that sucker."

Kenneth threw a desperate glance at John who quickly jumped in just as Dave was beginning to successfully break away from Kenneth.

"Dave. DAVE! Don’t do it man, don’t let that asshole get to you. He’s not worth it. Let it go. He was just lying, we all know that." John spoke as he grabbed Dave from the front while Kenneth renewed his grip on Dave from behind. Together they now sandwiched the young cadet, whose muscles were tight with pent-up anger and anxiety.

"John’s right, Starsk, don’t let him get to you. Don’t stoop down to his level. You want to be a great cop, just like your dad was. That guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Come on, now. The exams are less than two months away, don’t let him spoil it for you!" Kenneth struggled, between breaths.

Suddenly Dave relaxed, much to the older cadets’ surprise.

They held their grip on him until they felt his entire body totally relax and his breathing calm down to a normal pace. Then Dave shrugged their arms away and stepped out of the sandwich.

He rubbed his head, took a few deep breaths and began stuffing his shirt back into his pants.

"He was lying, you know!" Dave said emphatically, glancing briefly into John and Kenneth’s eyes before kneeling down to fasten his shoelace.

"My dad --- my dad would never do anythin’ like ---- like what he said."

John and Kenneth exchanged glances. Kenneth walked up next to where Dave was kneeling and got down beside him, putting his arm around Dave’s shoulder.

"Of course not. It sounded too absurd to be true. Don’t worry about it." He spoke in a smooth, calming tone.

Suddenly Dave jerked up and away from Kenneth’s embrace and looked at him with a lethal look in his eyes.

"You heard what he said?? You HEARD him?? Just what all did you guys hear him say?" Dave cried out, looking from John to Kenneth and back again.

Kenneth, taken totally by surprise by Dave’s sudden outburst, looked almost helplessly at John, who took the lead in answering.

"I’m sorry, Dave. I think we walked in on the worst part of it. To me it sounded too far fetched to possibly be true." John spoke in a calm voice.

"GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!" Dave yelled and started kicking and hitting the many crates and boxes which were piled up behind the back exit of the bar.

Both older cadets again jumped in and grabbed a hold of their highly excited friend. After a few moments of renewed struggle they finally managed to calm down Dave somewhat.

Kenneth held on to Dave and wheezed as he told John,

"John, why don’t you go get the car. Let’s go back home."

John, also panting heavily, let go of Dave, wiped the sweat off his brow and went to get the car.

Again, Dave shrugged off Kenneth’s grip.

"Starsk….."

"I won’t do it again. Just let me go, for God’s sake!" Dave spat out.

Kenneth let go, hesitantly.

Dave leaned against the wall and let himself slide to the ground. He looked absolutely lost, his expression a mixture of intense hurt, anger, grief and sadness.

John arrived with the car, and together with Kenneth he loaded Dave into the backseat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FIFTY-FIRST INSTALLMENT

After they’d been driving for ten minutes, Kenneth noticed John was taking a wrong turn.

"Hey, you missed the …." he cried out.

"Nope, I think the three of us have to talk." John said, glancing at Kenneth before looking in his rearview mirror at Dave, who had calmed down considerably and looked back at John, acknowledging the elder cadet was right.

John drove to the quiet part of the beach and parked the car. All three cadets got out and walked on the beach in silence for a few minutes before they sat down in the sand. The moon lit the ocean and gave a welcomed sense of peace to the night, after the violent incident.

John put his hand on Dave’s shoulder and softly asked,

"Now, what happened back there? Who was that?"

Dave looked down at his Adidas, while plucking at the frays of his jeans. Then he began talking in a monotonous voice that sent shivers down Kenneth’s spine.

"That piece of filth was Tony Giambone, from back East. He’s one of the local bad guy’s henchmen. Well, he is now. Back when I was a kid, he was the leader of one of the gangs in our neighborhood. He’s 9 years older than me, so at first we kinda looked up to him, ya know? He had all the connections, he got us little jobs here and there to …." Dave halted abruptly and looked at John and Kenneth as if to see how much he could entrust to them.

"Anyway – what he was talkin’ about? It ain’t true, it’s been proven it ain’t. But that rumor did go around for about a year after my dad got killed. They even said it was actually Joe Durniak who’d ordered the contract on my dad, because my dad supposedly didn’t wanna --- well --- my dad, they said my dad wanted to change the arrangement and not – not ‘share’ my mom with Joe anymore." Dave snorted bitterly.

"It didn’t exactly help that Joe paid part of my dad’s funeral costs." Dave got up and furiously threw a pebble into the ocean.

He turned back to face John and Kenneth, who both sat listening with growing amazement to their young companion’s complicated background.

"I won’t go into any details, but none of the rumors were true. Like it wasn’t enough that my mom had lost her husband, they were practically makin’ him out to be her pimp, her bein’ a whore of some kind!" Dave spat out.

"She was depressed, on the edge of a nervous breakdown ---- and I didn’t exactly help things either." He sighed.

"I ran with Tony’s gang for a while, right after my dad died. Got into a lot of trouble. Oh man, I was just a little piece of shit back then. My mom couldn’t take my behavior any longer so that’s when my aunt and uncle jumped in. Everyone thought it would be better to just get me out of that environment before things would really start gettin’ bad, ya know?"

Another sigh. Dave sat back down next to his friends again.

"Turns out they were right." He snorted,

"Well, at least they were until I blew it again tonight."

Kenneth was deeply moved by Dave’s account and just squeezed his roomie's arm.

John asked,

"Just what was it he said that set you off? I mean, you’d already beat him up when we heard the part which you’ve just explained, but obviously he said or did more before we arrived?"

Dave looked at John, then looked back at his feet again as he answered,

"He said somethin’ about my little brother, Nicky." Dave studied the faces of John and Kenneth before continuing,

"He --- that sonofabitch said --- he said – Oh God, man! He said that Nicky is turning tricks back East!" Dave sent a desperate, disgusted look to his two friends, who didn't seem to understand him.

"Tricks!" he exclaimed again. Then when he noticed neither John nor Kenneth had a clue what he meant, he got up again and -- with his back turned to them -- said in a rough voice,

"That asshole claims Nicky is selling his body to the highest bidder, just to keep up his expensive tastes and his nasty habit. He, he said Nicky has been doin' pot for two years already and has been seen doin' some coke as well. That's the newest fad, and it's pretty hard stuff. In some neighborhoods back East, people started droppin' like flies after usin' coke. If this is true, it's gonna kill my mom," he finished softly.

John and Kenneth exchanged looks. Both came from a background so vastly different from Dave's that the life-story of their young friend almost sounded like a rejected script for a movie-of-the-week.

"So what does Nick do for a living?" Kenneth tried.

"Well, so far I thought he was doing school and had a weekend job down at Bernie's, a local delicatessen, ya know, doin' deliveries." Dave looked at Kenneth.

"Hutch, he's 17 years old!"

A long, helpless silence. The two older cadets didn't have a clue what they could possibly offer that could be helpful in these dramatic circumstances.

John broke the silence.

"So, what are you gonna do?"

Dave's expression was serious, making him look older than his 21 years for the first time since Kenneth had known him.

"I gotta go over there, try and straighten him out."

"When do you plan on doing that?" Kenneth asked.

Suddenly Dave turned and began walking off the beach. John and Kenneth quickly got up and followed him.

"Dave?" Kenneth gasped.

"What time is it?" Dave called over his shoulder, while checking his own watch.

"Nine thirty." John answered, catching up with Dave.

"What are you planning to do?"

"As soon as I get back to the Academy, I'm gonna pack an overnight bag and fly over there. I gotta set him straight. Oh, Goddammit!!!!" Dave suddenly stopped in his tracks. The two other cadets walked on some more before turning and going back where Dave stood.

"What?" Kenneth asked, concerned.

"I ain't got enough dough for a last-minute flight. Got any idea how much that'll be? I know it's more than a regular ticket."

"I'll lend you some, if you really think you should go," Kenneth offered.

Dave looked at him, with a bashful smile.

"Really?"

Kenneth put his arm around Dave as the cadets began walking again.

"Don't you know me by now? Have you known me to be able to resist anything you ask?" Kenneth said, trying to lighten the mood a bit, despite the serious nature of what had just transpired.

It worked.

Dave's smile widened and he gave Kenneth a friendly poke in the stomach.

The cadets reached the car, got in and drove back to the Academy as quickly as they could.

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FIFTY-SECOND INSTALLMENT

Back at the Academy they all had their tasks. John made phone calls to try and get Dave the least expensive last-minute flight out to New York, and Kenneth helped Dave pack an overnight bag. As he witnessed how frantic and worried his roommate was, Kenneth made a decision. He went to his closet and got out his own overnight bag that he began to pack as well.

Soon Dave noticed Kenneth's actions and stopped his own packing.

"Where are you goin'?" he asked with nasal curiosity.

"I think you could use some moral support."

"What does that mean?" Dave asked.

"It means I'm going there with you, buddy."

"Nah, you ain't." Dave looked seriously at Kenneth.

"Yes, I am! And you can stop arguing about it, because you're not going to change my mind."

"Hutch! This is a family matter. As much as I like ya, you ain't part of my family. We gotta clean up this mess ourselves."

Kenneth turned, having packed his bag already, walked over to Dave and began re-packing the creased clothes Dave had just thrown into the bag, without paying much attention.

In a quiet, warm and controlled tone he said,

"I know I'm not your family. But I think I know you well enough by now to want to support you. I'm not going to interfere in anything that you might have to say to your brother, but I'm going there for you, to be your sounding board."

He glanced at Dave.

"Face it, buddy, don't you agree you do things just a tad too impulsively every now and then? Now, since 'family' is so important to you, don't you think it would prove a wise idea if you bounced some of your 'big brother' speeches you're likely to prepare for your kid brother, off of someone as cool and collected as me? Huh?" Kenneth smiled warmly at Dave.

Dave looked at Kenneth, flabbergasted. Geez, he's like the friggin' Tin Man who does have a heart! Dave thought, then smiled gratefully at Kenneth.

John came with the info on a flight, including the costs of the ticket and Kenneth told him he would join Dave on his trip. John agreed that wasn't a bad idea. They went downstairs and reported to the duty officer to sign out for the weekend, informing him they wouldn't be staying on campus after all. They received their passes and then John drove them to the airport to catch their red-eye flight to New York.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

After touchdown they took the bus and after several transfers they arrived in Dave Starsky's old neighborhood. Some of the big, old apartment buildings were vacant and boarded up. Dave walked the street as if he'd never left. Kenneth followed, not being able to avoid looking over his shoulder every now and then.

During a ten-minute brisk walk in silence, Dave was not only preoccupied with his own thoughts, but was also with taking in the many changes that had occurred since his last visit to his mom. The longer they walked, the less safe Kenneth was beginning to feel. Finally, they arrived at a low brown brick structure, with 6 steps leading up to the front door.

These are the steps where he found his dead father when he was just 11! Ken thought. Dave walked up to the door, checked his watch and hesitated.

"What is it?" Kenneth asked softly.

"I don't wanna startle Ma," Dave simply answered.

"I forgot to call her." He looked at Kenneth, almost helplessly.

"Don't you have a spare key?" Kenneth asked.

"I don't live here anymore, dummy!" Dave sneered, then made a face at his roommate, conveying he didn't mean anything bad by it.

Suddenly his face lit up.

"Wait a sec! Here, hold this." Dave handed his overnight bag to Kenneth and jumped over the six steps straight on the pavement and began to walk to the house next door.

"Dave! Where are you going?" Kenneth called, in a hushed tone.

Dave gestured to Kenneth that everything would be all right and rang the bell of the house next door. The door opened and Kenneth could see Dave exchanging words with someone, who remained hidden from Kenneth's sight. Then Dave gave one of his patented 1000-watt smiles, made an "Okay" sign to Kenneth and disappeared inside the house. Kenneth stood in front of Dave's old house, flatfooted, not knowing what to expect next.

After 10 minutes he was beginning to feel seriously uncomfortable in this strange neighborhood and wished his roommate would return. Just as he turned to go down the steps and knock on the door he'd seen Starsky enter ten minutes earlier, the door to Dave's childhood home opened.

With his index finger over his lips, Dave waved Kenneth to come in with his other hand.

Once inside, Dave whispered to Kenneth,

"I climbed over the balcony. I had to jimmy the back bedroom door but I'll fix it before we leave."

Kenneth took the information in, not knowing how to respond. He looked at the house, as he followed Dave inside. Its contents were modest yet cozy. The whole house breathed an atmosphere of warmth and love. There were family pictures everywhere; one picture of Dave's parents especially stood out to Kenneth.

From the picture he could tell, Dave was a perfect mix of both his parents.

Dave led the way to the kitchen, where he took off his jacket and immediately headed for the refrigerator. He rummaged through its contents, then let out a high pitched "Oh!" He retrieved a Tupperware box from the fridge, opened it, picked a spoon off the counter and began eating the cold contents of the box, with a childlike satisfied expression on his face, seemingly oblivious to Kenneth's presence.

Kenneth rolled his eyes as one glance at the kitchen clock told him it was only 7.15 AM.

After five spoonfuls Dave glanced up and finally remembered he wasn't alone.

"Mmmm, oh, uhm, siddown," he said to Kenneth, mouth stuffed to capacity.

Kenneth sat down at the kitchen table. Dave sat down opposite him, then looked at Kenneth, smiling sheepishly.

"I'm sorry. D'ya want some?" he asked.

"What is it?" Kenneth asked, more as a formality, since he had no intention of eating something straight from the fridge this early in the morning.

"My mom's chili, the best in the world!" Dave beamed, taking yet another spoonful.

Kenneth's stomach turned. Cold chili at 7.15 in the morning! The kid's a bloody circus act!

"No thanks, I'm fine," he answered instead.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FIFTY-THIRD INSTALLMENT

Someone came down the stairs. Behind Dave appeared a very attractive woman, with curly brown hair, braided half way, big, bright blue eyes and a small turned up nose. Her eyes turned even bigger as she took in the curly haired form at her kitchen table, who sat with his back toward the door.

"Davey?!" she exclaimed.

Dave choked on his bite of chili after hearing his name. He stood up and turned around to face his mother, Rachel Starsky, who started hitting him on his back as he was coughing violently.

"Windpipe," he managed between coughs and his mother made him raise his arms above his head, while she continued slapping him on the back.

Kenneth got up from his chair as well and smiled shyly at Dave's mother, who nodded politely to him.

She filled a glass with water and turned back to her first-born.

"Here, drink up. No, I'll hold it, you keep your arms up!" she ordered.

Dave took some sips in between coughs and within a minute or two his coughing subsided and mother and son could finally embrace.

"What are you doin' here? How -- when did ya get here? Did Nicky let you in?"

"Well, Ma ---" Dave started, but his mother interrupted him.

"Don't tell me there's trouble at the Academy? You didn't get in trouble did you, sweetheart?"

"Nah, nah, nothin' like that. Uhm, I uh, I just thought it uh --- " Dave looked at Kenneth. He hadn't thought about how to explain his unannounced visit to his mother.

He cleared his throat.

"I just thought I hadn't used any of my weekends off to come 'n visit ya, that's all."

His mother looked at him and smirked.

"Yeah, right. You know your nose turns up every time you lie?"

Kenneth was surprised such directness could come from such a sweet face.

Dave smiled shyly at Kenneth and at his mom.

"I just wanted to be here -- see y'all. Ya know?" he said softly.

His mother scrutinized his face then held it in both her hands and kissed him on the nose.

"You're a sweetie," she simply said, then looked at Kenneth.

"You must be Kenneth?" she asked.

Kenneth stepped forward and offered his hand to his roommate's mother. Somehow youthful looks seemed to run in the family, for the attractive woman who shook hands with him seemed too young to have a 21-year old son.

"Yes, ma'am. Pleased to meet you," he said politely.

Rachel Starsky smiled back at Kenneth, then looked closely at her son again.

"Now. Why are you really here?" she asked once more.

"Jeez, ma! Can't a son visit his mom anymore?" Dave whined, looking aggrieved.

"Okay, ya don't wanna tell me, so don't tell me!" Rachel threw her hands up in the air, which made Kenneth smile as he recognized the gesture from Dave.

"I'll find out anyway, or did ya think I'd find it normal for you to come breakin' into my home at seven in the mornin', coming in here unannounced? Well?"

Dave looked uncomfortable and glanced at Kenneth for support. Kenneth did not quite understand the dynamics of this mother and son relationship and thought it best not to offer any assistance just yet. He merely shrugged his shoulders at Dave and smiled helplessly.

"Okay -- I can wait. I got patience." Rachel said, then gestured for them to sit back down at the table again.

"Now, what do you kids want for breakfast?"

Rachel ended up making toast with jelly for Kenneth and sandwiches with warmed up chili and fried bacon and eggs for Dave. The sight and smell of those items at breakfast time were almost enough to make Kenneth's stomach turn, but Dave finished his plate in no time.

As he put the last piece of bacon in his mouth, Dave asked in a casual tone,

"So, Nicky still asleep?"

"He'll be home any minute now. He works the late night/early morning shift over at Denny's, ya know?! Cleaning up after the place closes. So he goes over there around 2.00 AM, sometimes 3.00 AM and cleans the place up. He says it makes good money."

"Ma?!" Dave exclaimed, shocked.

"Ain't he supposed to be in school?"

"He's doing great in school, Davey. You know he learns easily. Your kid brother is a real smart cookie, ya know!"

"Yeah but, how can he be in school at eight, if he's getting up at three in the mornin' to go sweep up some place?"

"It's Saturday, dummy!" Rachel Starsky exclaimed, giving a light hit to the back of Dave's head.

"He only does the night shift on the weekends! Did ya really think that I would let him skip school? That's not gonna happen to me again!" she said, then exchanged a meaningful glance with her son and kissed him on his curls.

"What about his other job? He still got that one?"

"At Bernie's? Sure, a little less nowadays, but he still does deliveries for Bernie." Rachel looked down fondly at her son.

Despite her sharp remarks to him earlier, Kenneth could see this woman truly and deeply loved her first-born. The look on her face was a mixture of pride, love, concern and pure joy at the sight of this handsome young man at her kitchen table, as if she could barely believe he was the product of the love between her late husband and herself. Kenneth could not remember, nor imagine even, either one of his parents ever giving such an overt display of contentment with either of their children.

"Does he have any other jobs, then? I mean, since he's doin' less for Bernie?" Dave probed.

"What is this, 20 questions?" Rachel said, making a face.

"He's in school, Dave! A day only has 24 hours, ya know?!"

Rachel turned her attention to Kenneth, startling him a bit as she gazed at him with her big, crystal blue, long-lashed eyes,

"You are awfully quiet, Kenneth? Have you had enough to eat?" she asked, kindly.

"Yes, ma'am, thank you." Kenneth answered, with a shy smile.

"So, you're Davey's roommate?" Rachel asked, as she sat down in the chair between Dave and Kenneth.

"How's he treating you?"

Dave looked wronged, causing Kenneth to chuckle as he answered,

"Well, it took some adjusting, but we're actually doing quite well now."

"Yes, he's a character!" Rachel said, but the fact that she was rubbing Dave's hand as she spoke, betrayed her deep love for her son.

She turned her gaze back at Kenneth again.

To his private embarrassment, Kenneth began to realize it was Rachel's unexpected beauty and youthfulness that made him feel nervous.

"Forgive me for sayin' so, Ken -- is it all right if I call you Ken?"

Kenneth nodded, blushing lightly.

"Somehow I don't see you as a policeman. Why do you want to become a policeman?"

"To make the world a better place!" Dave exclaimed, before Kenneth could find his voice.

Kenneth glared at Dave, who made a face at him and grinned.

"Well --- " he started.

"Oh, that's a lovely thought." Rachel said, gazing ahead of her.

"That's what drove my husband, too, to keep the world nice and safe." She sighed and suddenly her face was Dave's face, with that melancholic look Kenneth remembered from the times Dave had told him about his father.

The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FIFTY-FOURTH INSTALLMENT

They heard the door open and close. In the hallway, behind Dave, appeared a young, dark curly-haired male, with sharp features and dark, deep set eyes.

Rachel got up from her seat.

"There you are, you're late today! Look who's come to visit us!"

Dave got up, gave the young male a once over with his eyes, and then a big grin spread over his face.

"Hey, Nicky! You did some growing up, boy!" Dave cried out, as he pulled the youth into a tight bear hug.

Kenneth watched the brothers embrace. Something in Nick's face made him feel slightly uneasy. As much as Dave was thrilled to see his younger brother, Kenneth was not entirely certain the feelings were being reciprocated. Nick's smile seemed forced, and slightly insincere.

"Hey, Davey! Why didn't ya call to tell us you were comin' over. We'd have thrown a party for ya. I wouldn't have gone out workin'!" Nick Starsky exclaimed.

"I see y'already brought a guest," Nick added as he gave Kenneth a smile.

Kenneth got up, hand extended.

"Meet Kenneth, or Hutch, my roommate," Dave explained to his little brother, while waving Kenneth to approach.

They shook hands. Being up close to both brothers, sent a light shiver down Kenneth's spine.

The Tony Giambone character in the alley yesterday had been right about at least one thing: Dave and his brother bore little resemblance to each other; not even the curly hair was the same.

Nick was built like a bulldog. Standing at a little more than 5'9" he appeared stockier than his older brother, who was better proportioned at 5'11 1/2". Unlike his brother, Nick's overall appearance was sharp. From the fiery look in his dark brown eyes, to his bent nose -- even his thin lips contributed to the sharpness of his features.

Kenneth tried to envision Dave's father, to see if the younger brother resembled Michael Starsky more and perhaps Dave leaned more towards his mother's softer, rounder looks, but still -- he could not see a clear resemblance between Nick and his deceased dad either.

It was as if Dave could read Kenneth's mind, because he slightly shook his head "No" to Kenneth. This was not the time, nor place, to delve into the things Tony Giambone had claimed yesterday in the alley.

"So what's happenin'? What are you guys doin' here? Got a vacation from police school?" Nick Starsky let out a sharp chuckle, his eyes shifting between the two roommates.

"Nah, just wanted to visit you and ma." Dave tried to sound casual.

"Hey, why don't you get some shuteye and we'll talk over lunch?"

Nick looked up at his brother.

"Talk? Should I get worried, cos it sounds like you're gonna lecture me on somethin'?

Dave and Kenneth exchanged looks, which escaped neither Rachel nor Nicky.

"Is somethin' up, Davey?" Rachel Starsky asked, looking intensely into her son's eyes.

"No Ma, how many times I gotta tell ya? I just came to do some catchin' up, that's all!" Dave whined.

A short silence. Then Rachel patted her youngest son on his back.

"You go upstairs and get some sleep. I'll wake ya for lunch. Go ahead."

Nick went up, dragging his feet. Rachel concentrated on Dave again.

"Sweetheart, as much as I love havin' ya here, I've got a feelin' somethin's stewin'. I sure hope you know you can tell me anything, ya hear? You don't need to worry what it's about. I'll understand." She paused briefly.

"Are ya still thinkin' about Jerry?"

Dave's eyes were getting a bit moist as he pulled his mom into a hug.

"It ain't nothin', Ma, don't worry. I just needed to see you guys, that's all."

They ended their embrace and two sets of identically light blue eyes locked in an intense, scrutinizing gaze. Then Rachel Starsky held her son's face in her two hands and kissed him on both cheeks, before going upstairs to have a shower, leaving Dave and Kenneth together in the kitchen.

Dave tried to wipe his eyes inconspicuously as Kenneth put his hand on his roommate's shoulder.

"Well, I figure we've got about 5 hours to think of how we're going to find a way to ask your brother what he's been up to lately," Kenneth said.

Dave nodded his head.

"Yeah."

Then he straightened his shoulders and said,

"First things first." He walked into the hallway and halted in front of a bookcase. He retrieved a photo album and gestured Kenneth to approach.

He pointed at an old black and white photograph.

"There, that's my grandpa Micha, my dad's dad. Remind you of someone?"

Kenneth looked at the picture. The man Dave was pointing at bore an obvious resemblance to Nick Starsky. Kenneth began to blush. So Nicky Starsky is his paternal grandfather's clone! he thought, relieved.

"How, how did you know -----?" he asked Dave.

Dave sighed, but smiled at the same time.

"Hutch, it was written all over your face, as soon as you laid eyes on Nicky. I don't blame ya. Most people forget everyone's not just made up of his parents. Nick looks more like our granddad than our dad did."

He put the photo album back in its place.

"I just blame bastards like Tony Giambone for turning it into evil rumors."

He looked Kenneth in the eye.

"They couldn't be more wrong about my mom, ya know. My dad was the only one for her, still is. I mean, you can see how pretty she is? And she's still young. But ---- I dunno ---- this probably sounds weird but, it's like she's still waitin' for my dad to come home, ya know?"

Kenneth nodded, in silence. Then he softly said,

"Well, buddy. Goes to prove there really is such a thing as 'true love' and that it isn't just something made up for the movies, huh?"

He patted Dave on the arm.

Dave smiled at Kenneth, then sighed as they walked back into the kitchen.

"Well, brings us back to finding a way to see what Nicky's been up to, or if that Giambone asshole made them rumors up, too."

Then they both sat back down at the kitchen table.

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The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FIFTY-FIFTH INSTALLMENT

Nick Starsky awoke around noon, had a shower and met his brother Dave on the landing.

"Nicky, can I uh --- can I ask ya somethin'?" Dave asked, looking a bit shy.

Nick seemed surprised.

"Sure man, what's up?"

"I, uh," Dave took his brother's arm and led him back into his bedroom.

"What?" asked Nick, intrigued by his older brother's ways.

"Sit down. C'mon, sit down. I, uh," Dave's eyes darted around his brother's room. Nothing in it seemed out of the ordinary for a 17- year-old.

"How ya doin', Nicky?"

"How'm I doin'? How'm I doin'?" Nicky's voice went up and he let out a snigger.

"You sound like an old man, Dave! Is that what they teach you at that police school?"

Dave looked at him, pleadingly almost.

"C'mon Nicky, just answer! Everything all right?"

"Yes, Officer." Nicky chuckled, giving a mock salute to his brother.

"Stop kiddin', Nick, I'm serious. How ya doin'? For real?" Dave persisted.

Nick got serious now, looking a bit suspiciously at his brother.

"How come ya wanna know?"

"Whaddaya mean, how come I wanna know? We're brothers for cryin' out loud! That's why."

Nick scrutinized his brother for a split second, then pasted on a shy smile.

"I'm fine, Dave, like always, just fine. You didn't have to come all the way over here just to ask me that. Could've picked up the phone."

"Maybe, maybe not." Dave got up and began walking through the room. Nick never took his eyes off of him.

"So everything's fine? School fine? Jobs fine?"

"Yeah, man. Like I said." Nicky began to get irritated.

"What's this all about, Dave? You wouldn't fly all the way down here, just to ask me how I'm doin'?

Dave sighed, looked closely at his brother and sat down opposite him. Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, he came nose to nose with Nick. As he looked Nick close in the eyes, he said,

"I bumped into Tony Giambone yesterday."

Nick blinked once, quickly, and swallowed. Then he regrouped and asked,

"Tony? Where, here? Were you here yesterday already? Why didn't you stop by then?"

"Don't change the subject, Nicky. I met Tony in California yesterday. I took the redeye here last night."

Dave looked his brother straight in the eyes.

"So --- Tony. Where d'ya know him from?"

Nicky snorted.

"Geez, what do you think, Dave? Him and the rest of them hoods are pretty hard to escape, ya know? We all know them. Why?"

"He, uhm. He seemed to know you, better than just the average person on the block."

"What does that mean?"

Dave looked at the floor.

"He claims you're doin' tricks, Nicky."

Silence.

Then Nick, snorting, stood up and walked to the window.

Dave continued.

"He claims you're doin' tricks and smokin' pot."

Nicky just stood in front of the window, shaking his head.

"Can ya tell me he's lyin'?"

Nick suddenly turned around, walked over to his nightstand and frantically went through one of its drawers. He got out some papers and furiously threw them in Dave's lap.

"Look at those, Dave. Take a good look at those! All straight A's man! Straight A's. Yeah, that's me. Wonderboy. I work two jobs, man AND I go to school, but I still get straight A's!"

Dave was startled at his brother's sudden outburst. He looked over the tests Nick had thrown at him, and could indeed see his little brother was doing very well in school.

Quietly he said,

"Wow, Nick, I'm impressed! You're doin' much better than I ever did."

"Does that surprise you?"

"Nah, it's just -----"

"I wanna excel, Dave! Don't ya see? I wanna leave this dump behind! I wanna get outta here, go out to where the good life is!"

Nick got all excited.

"How ya gonna get there?" Dave asked.

Nicky retrieved the test papers from Dave.

"Ain't it obvious? I'm smart enough to get out of here and make somethin' of myself." Nick looked triumphantly at his older brother.

"By the time I'm 30, I'm gonna own me an apartment uptown."

Feeling empowered by the childlike wonder in his older brother's features after his statement, Nicks triumphant expression turned into a cocky smirk.

"Yeah, that's right. An apartment uptown; Manhattan even! I'll have my own business. Be my own boss."

Dave looked up at his kid brother with a bewildered look on his face that made him appear the younger of the two.

"Doin' what?"

"Whatever the fad is at the time. Ya gotta go with the flow, Dave. "

Nick Starsky got down on his knees in front of his brother, who was still sitting on the bed. With an expression that traveled between innocence and sincerity on his face, he looked up at Dave.

"Honest, Dave. You don't ever gotta worry about me doin' crazy things, I swear. I got too much things lying ahead of me. Don't sweat it, man. I'm gonna do it the right way. Make the Starsky name count for somethin' again. Ya know?"

Dave took a long hard look at his brother.

"Just one thing, Nick."

"Anythin'."

"You're not into any funny stuff, are ya? Not smoking pot or doin' horse? You're bein' careful, right?"

Nick placed his right hand over his heart.

"Hey, man! You know me better than that! Cross my heart and hope to die, Davey. Scout's Honor! I wouldn't do anythin' to hurt Ma."

The brothers looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. Then a smile broke on Dave's face. He truly wanted to believe his little brother and so he did. He stood up and in the process pulled up Nick as well, before locking him in an embrace.

"I'm so glad, Nicky. I'm so glad that bastard just made that up."

"Me too, man. Me too. Hey Dave?"

"What?"

"I promise man. Ya don't ever gotta worry about me, 'kay?"

"'Kay."

The brothers hugged some more before going downstairs to have some lunch with Rachel and Kenneth.

They spent the afternoon walking around Dave's old neighborhood. After dinner they talked and went to bed early to catch the first flight back to California the next day.

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The bumpy road to Me and Thee

Part two

Getting to know Me and Thee

By Jacqueline © 2000

FIFTY-SIXTH INSTALLMENT

Back at the Academy grounds, Kenneth paid the cab driver his fare, before crossing the campus with Dave to their dormitory.

"Feeling better already?" Kenneth asked Dave, in a soft voice, as he looked at his young roommate.

"Yeah. I shoulda known better than to believe that asshole," Dave responded softly.

Smiling shyly, he looked up at Kenneth.

"Ya think us flyin' over there was too rash?"

Kenneth shrugged.

"Well, I don't know. It's always better to judge a situation at face value. What if you did just call your brother on the phone? He could've told you just about anything if he'd wanted to, and you would not have had the benefit of looking him in the eye, to see if he were telling the truth."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I am," Kenneth chuckled.

The walked a bit further in silence as they approached their building.

"Well, for what it counts, I'm glad ya decided to come along with me. It's uhm -- I thought -- well, ya know?"

"Sure," Kenneth smiled, as he put his arm around Dave's shoulder.

"It's all right."

They entered the building and Ken was called to the duty officer's desk to return a call from his lawyer. Dave went up ahead to their room.

He found the door unlocked and as he stepped in, he came face to face with a tall, blond, middle-aged man.

Startled, Dave's sparkling blue eyes found the man's icy blue stare.

Dave looked at the number on the door to check if he'd entered the right room.

"Uhm, hi ----" he managed.

"Can I help ya?"

The man frowned and said,

"I'm looking for my son. I was told this is his room."

"Your son?" Dave asked, as he cautiously entered the room and put his and Ken's bags down on their beds.

"Well, my roommate is Hutch --- uh, Kenneth Hutchinson."

"Roommate?"

"Yes, sir. I'm Dave --- Starsky. Dave Starsky. I share a room with Hutch."

"Hutch?" The man made a face as if he smelled something bad. He looked around the room impatiently, walked up to the opened door and looked into the corridor.

"Do you happen to know where my son is at this moment?"

"Well, he's downstairs. He's gotta return a call from his lawyer about his divorce."

"Hmmmm."

Dave looked at the impeccably dressed man with curiosity. So this is Hutch II? Hutch don't look that much like 'm. Seems really uptight to me.

"Have you been waitin' long? Ya want me to get ya somethin' to drink?" Dave offered.

Just to get Dave to leave again, the man answered,

"Yes, that would be nice, young man. If it's no bother, I would appreciate a cup of coffee."

"Sure, no sweat. Ya want cream or sugar with that?"

"Uhm, black will do, thank you."

And off Dave went to the cafeteria.

Just as he returned to the corridor, Kenneth entered the corridor as well.

Kenneth wondered what his roomie was doing with a tray filled with a can of coffee, two cups and saucers, milk and sugar.

"Hey, buddy. What'ya got there?" Kenneth asked, just a few feet away from the open door to their room.

"I uh ---"

"Here, let me give you a hand with that," Kenneth said, just as his father appeared in the doorway.

Kenneth William Hutchinson II took in the scene with a smirk on his face, before walking back into the room.

"I got it! Look, Hutch, you got ---"

Kenneth looked into the room and his eyes immediately found his father's gaze. He stopped dead in his tracks, almost causing Dave to bump into him with the tray.

"Father."

"Kenneth."

The scene between father and son dumbfounded Dave. Their lack of emotional attachment amazed him.

Father and son gazed at each other for a long moment before the elder Hutchinson said,

"Step out of the way, Kenneth. Let the boy in."

It took a few moments before Kenneth regained his speaking power.

"Uhm, Father -- what uhm, wh-what brings you here?"

Hutchinson II indicated Dave with a frown.

"Oh, uhm, Father I, I'd like you -- I'd like you to meet my roommate. Uhm, Dave Starsky, my father Kenneth Hutchinson."

"Yes," Kenneth's father said economically, "we've already met."

The three stood looking at each other in the small room. Then the elder Hutchinson asked,

"Could I have a word with you, Kenneth?"

"S-sure. What uhm, wh-what's this about?"

"In private, please?" Hutchinson II nodded in Dave's direction.

"Oh, we don't ---" Kenneth fumbled, but Dave understood and offered,

"Oh, that's all right, that's all right. I'll see if I can find John. We'll uhm, we'll either be watchin' the tube or uhm, shootin' some hoops, okay?"

Dave walked up to his roommate's father, offering his hand.

"It's been nice meetin' ya, sir! I'm real glad to have your son for a roommate. Well, see ya!"

Kenneth put his hand on Dave's arm, before he left the room.

"You'll be all right?"

"Yeah! See ya later."

"I'll try to make it brief," Kenneth whispered before releasing Dave's arm.

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